The Knitting Basket of Doom

august09 014Hello FLS, my old friend,
I’ve come to knit you again,
Because pretty yarn came softly creeping,
And I can knit you while sleeping,
And the shawl that was frogged yesterday
Still remains
Within the knitting basket of doom.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Wondered if I should knit Cobblestone,
‘neath the halo of a second-hand lamp,
I turned my eyes to the weather cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
bright light
That split the night
And touched the knitting basket of doom.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand possible projects, maybe more.
Projects without assigned yarns,
Projects with double-sided lace charts,
Projects that look fabulous – but not on me
And not one made me
Disturb the knitting basket of doom.

Head said you do know
Your yarn stash like a cancer grows.
Find some sweater amount for Hey Teach,
Take these patterns and an FO this month you may reach.
But my hands like idle raindrops fell,
And rested
By the knitting basket of doom.

And so to the great knitting goddess I prayed
I looked at items I had previously made.
And the signs were flashing,
By the sweater amounts I had been stashing.
And the signs said, top-down it shall be
It’ll be easy garter-stitch and fancy-free
And suit that lovely wool-alpaca yarn you
have kept in the knitting basket of doom..

(apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)

5 Responses to 'The Knitting Basket of Doom'

  1. Birgitte says:

    Hahah, wonderful! I’m sure Simon and Garfunkel won’t mind :D

  2. Emma says:

    hooray!
    i should channel my knitter’s block into song parody. that might be productive.

  3. Paula says:

    Brilliant. Apparently I can’t just say that one word because WordPress decrees it was too short a comment lol.

  4. Siena says:

    Hahaha, brilliant!

  5. yoel says:

    Great! You inspired me to sing out loud, the whole song in fact :)