Whit?
I had to laugh when I saw this little news story: Company seeks Glaswegian interpreter.
Today Translations spokesman, Mick Thorburn said: "Over the last few months we've had clients asking us for Glaswegian translators.
(..)
"Usually, the role would involve translating documents but in this case its more likely to be assisting foreign visitors to the city whose 'business English' is not good enough to understand the local dialect."
(..)
He added: "We're not necessarily looking for people who are particularly skilled in linguistics, just candidates who can help out clients who may struggle with native Glaswegian."
I remember arriving in Glasgow and not being able to understand most of what was being said around me. While getting some Glaswegian colleagues helped (although I have never found a use for the phrase "that fake bake is pure dead brilliant, hen"), I struggled until I twigged that Glaswegian is basically akin to my Danish uncles attempting to speak English. There is a certain flatness to Glaswegian intonation that is very, very similar to mid-Zealandic intonation and some words spoken with a broad Glaswegian accent sound more like their Danish counterpart than the actual standard English word: home becomes hame which sounds quite like a slurred mid-Zealandic hjem. For a girl who has tried to escape rural Denmark for most of her life, all this feels a bit like a cosmic joke.
Thanks to my friend Lise, I spent most of my lunch reading about the 16th best football team in the word ever. The most recent incarnation is through to next year's World Cup which bodes well for the amount of (tense) knitting I'll get done. Huzzah!
Little Women & Werewolves
Yes, the classic "Little Women" has fallen prey to the publishing trend that started with "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Joy. I never read the Austen-goes-supernatural novel. I mean, I still have issues with casting Colin Firth as Darcy in that BBC mini-series, so imagine what issues I'd have suddenly encountering zombies in the midst of Pemberley!
Anyway, the synopsis of "Little Women" reads thusly:
In this retelling of Louisa May Alcott's classic, the beloved little women must keep not just the wolf, but the werewolves, from the door...and the kindly old gentlemen next door and his grandson may have some secrets to hide — or share with the March girls.
There is a silver lining, though. On io9, commentators have fun trying to come up with the next installments in this classics-goes-monstrous trend and they're really quite funny:
- A Sentimental Education of Vampires
- Canterbury Tales from the Crypt
- Uncle Tom's Kraken
- Love in the Time of Cthulu
- The Barchester Martian Chronicles
- The Handmaid's Tail
Can anyone come up with a synopsis for any of these?
Self-Awareness is Good, Right?
At times our Domestic Bliss feels a lot like this cartoon:
Zombies!
"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days" - Professor Neil Ferguson, Imperial College London
Science ponders "Zombie attacks" (BBC). It sounds wacky but apparently it can help scientists understanding virus pandemics. I knew my good friend M. (an international expert on infectious diseases) would eventually come up with a really good explanation for his zombie film collection.
The Knitting Basket of Doom
Hello FLS, my old friend,
I've come to knit you again,
Because pretty yarn came softly creeping,
And I can knit you while sleeping,
And the shawl that was frogged yesterday
Still remains
Within the knitting basket of doom.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Wondered if I should knit Cobblestone,
'neath the halo of a second-hand lamp,
I turned my eyes to the weather cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
bright light
That split the night
And touched the knitting basket of doom.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand possible projects, maybe more.
Projects without assigned yarns,
Projects with double-sided lace charts,
Projects that look fabulous - but not on me
And not one made me
Disturb the knitting basket of doom.
Head said you do know
Your yarn stash like a cancer grows.
Find some sweater amount for Hey Teach,
Take these patterns and an FO this month you may reach.
But my hands like idle raindrops fell,
And rested
By the knitting basket of doom.
And so to the great knitting goddess I prayed
I looked at items I had previously made.
And the signs were flashing,
By the sweater amounts I had been stashing.
And the signs said, top-down it shall be
It'll be easy garter-stitch and fancy-free
And suit that lovely wool-alpaca yarn you
have kept in the knitting basket of doom..
(apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)
Friday Linkage And Such
Ooooh, nice location and a suitable size! I also like that it hasn't been refurbished beyond recognition (I have a particular bone to pick with developers putting Poggenpohl-knock-off kitchens into Victorian properties). Shame about the price, of course.
A few months ago David and I went to see the Swedish vampire film, Let the Right One In. It was more art-house than Hammer house and unsurprisingly it is set for a US remake so people do not have to endure subtitles or pale Swedish boys with bowl haircuts. While most aspects of the US remake fills me with dread - the director made Cloverfield and ambiguous gender portrayals are becoming significantly less ambiguous - I found it really interesting to watch the casting tapes of the three girls up for the lead which io9 posted recently. I know which girl I prefer but I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts. Also, do not miss the discussion on io9.
Psychotic Letters From Men was a recent MeFi find. Normally I would cast it a cursory glance, move on and not mention it here, but the site did remind me of the time I received letters from a blog reader who was convinced that a) I had an artificial limb and b) this was the biggest turn-on in the world for the guy. No wonder I let my old blog die a very quiet death..
Finally, Advanced Style cheered me up. It really proves that style ain't no age-thing.
I Am Aware Of My Own Mortality
The other day I tried on a wedding dress.
Now before you all start screaming with joy and gushing - hold on for a minute and let me explain.
Principles is yet another UK clothes chain in deep financial doo-doo. It sells really nice stuff, though, and I went into one of their closing-down sales to have a gander. And I saw this which looks more like a 60ish mini-dress than a tunic. And I thought to myself: "If that no-good man of mine ever asks me, I'd want to wear a slightly hippie-ish 60ish inspired tatted-lace dress, wouldn't I (with these shoes)?" Sadly it was very shapeless, being a tunic and not a mini-dress.
Seeing my partner's facial expression when I told him? Highlight of my day, I tell you, highlight of my day.
And deep down it all felt a bit weird too.
Also in the "oh dear, I'm getting on in years" vein, several people around me insist on spawning. This has resulted in me spending several traumatic minutes combing the Ravelry database for acceptable baby knitting projects. So far I have found these patterns: Lucille (a vintage-inspired cardigan), Autumn Leaves (a simple cardigan with a patterned yoke) and the super-cute Fiona's Top. Clearly I need patterns for stuff that boys can wear too. Any recommendations?
Finally, todays' "neighbourhood" photo was taken yesterday at the North Kelvinside Meadow, a green space just two minutes away from our flat. The meadow is a disused space which has never had any housing on it and has been out of use since the 1970s. Local campaigners are now trying to persuade Glasgow City Council that we need to turn it into a meadow rather than flats. Cue guerrilla gardening!
It’s Almost That Time Of Year
Denmark is the oldest kingdom in Europe with a rich history of conquest, trade and culture. Regrettably, being lower even than the Netherlands, Denmark will be the first to disappear as the waters rise.
The 5.5 million people of Denmark speak a language they themselves do not understand, with a numbering system that contradicts all laws of Math. Its consonant-free nature did not stop Denmark from winning the Eurovision in 1963; they won again (in English) in 2000.
Facts
Capital: Copenhagen
Economy: Dairy products, beer, cookies, exploiting Greenland's natural resources and labour force, wind turbines
Famous landmarks: The Little Mermaid, Tivoli, Legoland, Birthe Kjær
I have found the essential guide to this year's Eurovision. The darlings at ESCnation has compiled a guide to every single competing nation (and Georgia). It is hysterically funny (and some bits are not safe for work - such as the description of Poland) even if you do not care a tuppence about Eurovision.
Speaking of which, I sat through a live-stream of the Swedish national final and sadly the best performance was a strange, beautiful version of last year's winner. I really didn't get the winning song, Malena's La Voix and, apart from a late 1990s-esque boyband and the ever discotastic Alcazar, didn't tap my feet at any stage. Hmph. Sweden, you disappoint me.
(And in case you are dying to know, Norway is emerging as the big favourite to win.)